Hey Mr. Marl-Bo-ro Man...

When my dear departed friend Barbara quit smoking several years ago she used to say to me sometimes, "I want a cigarette so bad I could rip the lips off a kitten", and I'd laugh at her because WTF? That's crazy talk Barbara! Think of your own cats ma'am! LOL But seriously, it was especially funny because Barbara was a total animal lover and wonderful person who would never harm another living thing, and there she'd go talking about disfiguring a baby cat for want of nicotine. Addiction is hell.



Just to give you a little backstory here, I've been prone to bronchitis for a while now and generally come down with it a least once a year. Over the last couple of years however, it's become more frequent and for a while I was afraid I might have some sort of autoimmune lung issue. I might also be a legitimate hypochondriac, but that's another story for another time.

He's a cold hearted snake! Not Really.

So if you didn't know, I'm fascinated with reptiles; snakes, iguanas, lizards, whatever. I've loved lizards, Carolina Anoles in particular, since I was a child. They are adorable and bright green and my older brother and I would catch them in the summers and put them in jars with grass and punch holes in the lids, for proper ventilation. We would never really keep them though. They were much too fun to contain. I loved holding them, however briefly, as they are very quick and not so much for being handled. I loved the feel of their little feet sticking to my skin and how they felt cool to the touch and rough and squishy and delicate all at once. Did I mention they are bright green and cute as hell? I mean look at that face. How could you resist it?





Kiss my face! No? Well, you'll be back.

Well, I never could. I guess it's probably due in part to my love for these little guys (and dinosaurs! We can't forget the dinos!) that I've always been interested in reptiles. As such, it was no surprise that while I was on my way out of the PETCO yesterday, Fresh Step Extreme cat litter in my basket, my new phone resting obviously at the mouth of my purse, that I was captivated by a terrarium full of baby bearded dragons. Hold UP! Did someone say Dragons? 

Irony. You're doing it wrong.

It's funny because it's true.

Earlier today I came across this picture in my news feed captioned simply as "cool".  Feel free to facepalm at any time. I didn't bother to engage the person who shared it over her skewed perception, not because it's not my place (because let's be honest, that doesn't matter to me), but because this person is an adult. She's also a parent. This means that she's raising children. Marinate in that for a moment. Someone who is too thick to realize that this image is a mockery of all her "if you don't support our troops" propaganda is the primary influence on another human being's thought process. Even if I were able to make her understand exactly what the intent of this image is, she would simply misunderstand why someone would make such a statement.

Fucking Fight!

Ohhh they don’t like Jane

      Soooo a while back, Cat Marnell over at xoJane wrote this ill-advised piece on Plan B and a total feminist flame war erupted over it and people were piling on about how irresponsible and stupid Cat was/is and everyone in those feminist journalism/blogosphere circles has already beaten this issue to death. I however, have not because I’m new. Anyway, the issue here isn’t Cat’s post but rather the fact that I love Jane. I loved Sassy magazine. Sue me (Don’t really sue me though, because I don’t have anything, at all, and you’d be wasting your time and money for nothing, at all). Anyhow, so I love Jane. Right. Yes and Cat Marnell gets under my skin and I sometimes dislike her writing but, feel jealous at the same time. Maybe that’s why I dislike her so much. Maybe it’s less that I dislike what she says, and more that I'm envious that she’s able to say it, that I find myself so conflicted about Cat. Maybe I wish I could do the same, and get paid for it or maybe I think she’s an entitled ditz and it bothers me that people might take her seriously. I just don’t know.  UGH! Kills me.