Teach your children well.

I am not a parent. Parenthood is not something I've ever felt I was cut out for, nor was it something I believed would be rewarding for me, or any unfortunate child who might find me to be his or her own parent. But I have thoughts though. I have thoughts and opinions on various types of parenting. I am who I am.

Here's a thought: Before it's too late, be sure to teach your kids that not "everyone else is doing it". I can't tell you how many times that phrase was tossed around when I was a kid, by other kids. But like kids will do, in a time that they're trying to find their place in the world and find out who they are in that place, kids bluff. They say more than they understand. They act over their heads and they pretend that they're much more sophisticated than they really are.

Not everyone one is doing it. In fact I'd venture to say that even less than half of those that are saying they are, are not. And by "it" I don't just mean sex. I mean that too, but I mean drinking, drugs, partying every weekend, stealing their parents cars and joyriding around town, clubbing, whatever all the cool kids are doing.

Tell them... often...that this is simply not true. Tell them because you know. Or tell them because you learned the hard way or tell them because you know that little punk they've been blabbering on about lately is nothing more than a scared, insecure kid trying to find someone to identify with, or someone who might admire them, someone they can snow.

Tell them with compassion and without judgement or anger. Tell them that they are loved and that even though they feel alone, there is someone out there who feels exactly the same way but is too afraid or shy or insecure to say so.

Tell them to feel that who they are; whether shy and creative, or gregarious and spirited, or sullen and quiet, or awkward and uneasy, is exactly who they are appreciated for.  Tell them to celebrate themselves, to love themselves and to find what they love the most about themselves and share it...with the world. And even if the whole world doesn't love it, or them...there will always be someone who will.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011